I Killed Jesus

I remember when I was in High School. I had just become a Christian and was at a Bible Study for students at a girl's house who went to my school. Her father was leading us in a study and he asked the question, "What would you have done if you were present at the crucifixion of Jesus?" Now, I was a new believer and particularly zealous and passionate for Christ at this time. As several students gave their answers I shared mine. I said something like, "I would have fought to get him down off the cross, even if they killed me." Our patient leader listened to everyone share and then gave his answer. What he said floored me.

"If I was there, I would have joined in with the guards and helped crucify Jesus myself."

I couldn't believe he said that. But after listening to his reason I understood. He told us that without the death of Jesus on the cross he, along with us, would have no hope. If Jesus did not pay our sin debt on the cross thereby satisfying the wrath of God we would have to pay it and of course as sinners we cannot and so our sin would condemn us to hell.

Recently I heard a quote from C.J. Mahaney on the cross. (I highly encourage you to listen to any messages of his you can find online, just do a google search and you will see several). I heard this in a song "were you there" by Shai Linne, listen to it on his myspace page (www.myspace.com/shailinne). Shail is a hip hop artist from Philly and uses the quote in the end of the song.

Before we can see the cross as something done for us leading us to faith and worship. We have to see it has something done by us leading us to repentance. Only the man or woman who is prepared to own his share in the guilt of the cross may share his share in it's grace.

Whoa... read that again. While it is so painful to understand that I share in the guilt of the cross... it is also makes the cross that much sweeter. We must not simply tell people that God loves them through what Jesus did but we must also help people to see their role in his death. Namely the sin that they (we) have committed which separates them from God, condemns them to hell, and that which Christ paid for on behalf of his elect/those who would believe in His name!

My Bible study leaders response shocked me. However, as I have thought about this even more I realize that we really did kill Jesus. My sin killed the Son of God. When Jesus was on the cross some part of the suffering he went through was actually caused by me. A piece of the wrath of God that Jesus experienced was meant for me due to my sin.

So yes... I helped kill Jesus.