I Killed Jesus

I remember when I was in High School. I had just become a Christian and was at a Bible Study for students at a girl's house who went to my school. Her father was leading us in a study and he asked the question, "What would you have done if you were present at the crucifixion of Jesus?" Now, I was a new believer and particularly zealous and passionate for Christ at this time. As several students gave their answers I shared mine. I said something like, "I would have fought to get him down off the cross, even if they killed me." Our patient leader listened to everyone share and then gave his answer. What he said floored me.

"If I was there, I would have joined in with the guards and helped crucify Jesus myself."

I couldn't believe he said that. But after listening to his reason I understood. He told us that without the death of Jesus on the cross he, along with us, would have no hope. If Jesus did not pay our sin debt on the cross thereby satisfying the wrath of God we would have to pay it and of course as sinners we cannot and so our sin would condemn us to hell.

Recently I heard a quote from C.J. Mahaney on the cross. (I highly encourage you to listen to any messages of his you can find online, just do a google search and you will see several). I heard this in a song "were you there" by Shai Linne, listen to it on his myspace page (www.myspace.com/shailinne). Shail is a hip hop artist from Philly and uses the quote in the end of the song.

Before we can see the cross as something done for us leading us to faith and worship. We have to see it has something done by us leading us to repentance. Only the man or woman who is prepared to own his share in the guilt of the cross may share his share in it's grace.

Whoa... read that again. While it is so painful to understand that I share in the guilt of the cross... it is also makes the cross that much sweeter. We must not simply tell people that God loves them through what Jesus did but we must also help people to see their role in his death. Namely the sin that they (we) have committed which separates them from God, condemns them to hell, and that which Christ paid for on behalf of his elect/those who would believe in His name!

My Bible study leaders response shocked me. However, as I have thought about this even more I realize that we really did kill Jesus. My sin killed the Son of God. When Jesus was on the cross some part of the suffering he went through was actually caused by me. A piece of the wrath of God that Jesus experienced was meant for me due to my sin.

So yes... I helped kill Jesus.

Where is God in your life?

I was driving in my car the other day thinking about what God was calling me too and wondering how I was going to accomplish it when the Holy Spirit dropped these words into my heart.

Don't set up your life in such a way so that you don't need God to work.

You see, as I was making my plans and figuring out what I was going to do with my life I got discouarged (notice the over use of personal pronouns... big mistake). It was a slap to the face. God was saying, "Where am I in your plans?" "Do you even need me to work?" Isn't it amazing how so subtly we can find ourselves in a place where we don't really need God. We have our jobs, our ministries, our plans, and all these things we can pretty much take care of. There are no question marks. There are no, "God if you don't do __________, this will fail."

This is scary though isn't it?

This is the place of faith. If you are a leader of a church, ministry, home, etc. this is even more frightening because your decisions don't just affect you but others. For example, if God is calling you to move to a new area but you don't know how God will provide the housing you need... it requires faith to declare it. Why? Because once you make it known you are committed and you must move forward depending on God alone and others are watching. I remember when my wife and I knew that we were called to move from Chicago to Baltimore in 02'. We were expecting our second child a month before our move. We didn't renew our lease, I didn't have a job lined up, and we didn't have a place to live but we knew we were called. God provided all of that and more in an incredible way. What is God calling you to literally trust him with? What is it that you will believe him for that only He can do? God honors faith in Him!

Wow... my heart gets stirred even as I write this with incredible hope because when I think of operating in this way not only does peace come because I can trust God, not only does hope come because I know he will do more than I imagined, but even more incredible glory will be given to Jesus alone as he accomplishes His will in a way that only He can and I stand in amazement!

Check this dope verse...

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen" Ephesians 3.20-21

Poverty in B-More

There is an interesting article about the state of Maryland and poverty in the Baltimore Sun "Ideas" section today. Seek link

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/ideas/bal-id.poverty09mar09,0,3323127.story

While Maryland is one of the wealthiest states to live in, it also has some startling poverty statitics particularly in Allegany County, Somerset County, and of course Baltimore City. In Baltimore City 22.2% of the population lives in poverty. One out of every five people! The city has approximately 650,000 residents so that is about 144,300 people. To be counted in this statistic if single you must make no more than $9,973 or if a family of four no more than $20,000. In actual fact the number of people living in poverty is greater as there are more people who maybe didn't make the official "poverty cut off" yet are still attempting to carve out a living making substandard wages. While this is troubling, it is even worse for youth. Taking the total number of youth (18 and under) the statitic jumps to 30.9% of the youth of Baltimore living in poverty.

What is the point Rob? Poverty is a very serious issue in Baltimore. (I hate even saying it is an "issue" because that "issue" is little boys and girls and adults struggling). What many bloggers and would be prophets have done at this point after hearing these statistics (myself included) is then begin to criticize the church and call them to really have concern for the poor, which could be a good idea as it seems like at times we (I am a part of the church too) don't care that much (Proverbs 21.13).

However for me, at least this time, this is not what I want to do. Why? Because if I am honest I am not sure I am doing a whole lot for "the poor" myself (confession ya'll). Here is what I am saying. Instead of making the church (meaning Church Y and Pastor X) responsible and accountable for poverty in Baltimore. I want to know if there are any believers in the city or outside of the city that actually want to do something real for those in poverty here. I want to know if there is anyone that actually wants to hire a young man who has a record. I want to know if there are any professionals that are willing to band their resources together to purchase a home and provide housing for those in need. I want to know if there is anyone already offering real solutions or wanting to be involved in offering real solutions.

I just celebrated my 30th birthday. My last blog was actually on my birthday, February 8th. As I think about my life and the next 40 years of my life in which I am expected to live, I want to make it count. I want to actually do one or two things well that makes a difference in the city I love. If you are interested in that as well, I'd love to hear from you.

"7But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare."
Jeremiah 29.7